this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
