eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The adults are the big ones right?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
