You can't special order awesome
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
