remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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