Define "chronic" masturbator.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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