I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
where am i from again
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize