I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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