6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Found the puke drawer
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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