My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
there's paper in my vomit.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
