Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
