i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
do herpes really smell.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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