My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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