I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
