K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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