I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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