Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
