i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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