I wish I could punch you in the face.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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