haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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