i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
