What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
