Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
