sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
