Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She said her name was "party"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Randomize
