yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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