it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
