we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
