all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
