Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
