There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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