he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
