yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
