You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
