I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Farmville is her only friend.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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