uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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