No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
