Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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