Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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