I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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