member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
