He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
