This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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