We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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