$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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