he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
