At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
