it hurts more in the daytime
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize