If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
