The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
