Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
