butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
