Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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