Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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