I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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