great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
