well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
