I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize