you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize