It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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