so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
