It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
